*If you can't watch the video, it's Bad Day by Daniel Powter. It's been a long time since I listen to this song*
Bad day... Yeah, that's what happened to me since last Thursday. 4th of April to be exact was one of the worst day for me. The traffic annoyed me, motorcycle drove on the wrong side, my assignment wasn't finish, and other bad things happened that day. Well, thank God on Friday the day was not that bad. But Saturday was one of the hell day for me because I had (in all of a sudden) a very bad sore throat that tortured me and forced me to sleep all day long. "Hello sore throat, I have a test on Monday and you come on a really bad time." That's what in my mind on Saturday.
Sunday was another torturing day because I had a headache as I woke up in the morning. At least my sore throat was cured on Sunday. I can't study and I can't do anything until the dusk came. I forced myself to study for my test on Monday until midnight and I did my very best for the test. I didn't feel like myself on Monday. I looked sad, I had no energy at all, I wanted to cry, I spilled out my feeling to all the people I met, well Monday definitely wasn't a good day too. So you could say it's been a total bad day since Thursday.
Today, Tuesday, I do a reflection of my life. I try to think about myself. I try to find insights about my life. I realize something. I'm not being Billy on Thursday until Monday. Yeah, I forgot how to be Billy for 5 days in a row. Okay, maybe it's a little bit confusing or bizarre for you. (Well, Michel Foucault, French Philosopher, in queer theory said weird is just a term made by the normal, the legitimate, the dominant. But I don't want to discuss about it, hehe..). But yeah, I think that I'm not being my real self for 5 days.
I just realize that I'm not having a bad day, It's just a rough day. It sounds the same but actually it's different. When you say 'bad', It feels like you can't handle it and it's your destiny to have it. Rough day, for me, is a day that you can conquer but you need an effort. So this is the reason I'm not being Billy, I'm stuck with my thought about bad day. Billy should have been a person that can see a problem not as a problem, but as a challenge. This reason triggers me to remember that I'm not being Billy. Thank God I realize it.
I remember last Friday a friend of mine texted me and gave me a good word of wisdom that burns my spirit. Unfortunately I easily forgot about it because of my sore throat on Saturday. I read it again this morning and I just realize that I'm not being Billy since Friday. But I didn't put an effort on Saturday and my sickness won the game and I lost. Thank you my friend for that text messages. There's a quote that says "Friend are God's way of taking care of us". True, God reminds me on Friday that you have to be Billy again. Unluckily, I just realize it today. But there's also a quote says "Potius sero quam numquam" or "Better late than never". Thank you God for the reminder :)
Oh yeah, I write this thing because another friend of mine told me that maybe writing something will be a good catharsis way. You're right my friend, it is :) I'm glad I follow your suggestion. I also want to thank my best friend to remind me that I shouldn't run from my problem, but I have to face it. Well, I regulate my emotion first before I finish my task and study for the test. Thank you, because of you I didn't go anywhere to find any 'pseudo-happiness', haha.. Thanks to all my friends that text me to give me spirits, thanks to all I met that gave me spirit. I'm totally happy now that I want to hug you all and say thank you one by one.
Thanks to all my friends for keeping me sane. My friend remind me "Maybe not everyday seems like a good day, but there's always something good in everyday" (That's what my friend texted me on Friday and I almost cry a river because of this quote :p). One more thing before I close my blog, I just found a very good quote this afternoon...
Secundas res splendidiores facit amicitia, et adversas partiens communicansque leviores
(Literal translation: Friendship makes prosperity brighter, and it lightens adversity by sharing it with equal)
(Pertemanan mencerahkan kemakmuran dan menyinari kesengsaraan dengan cara berbagi duka dan kecemasan)
Welcome back Billy :) It's nice to see you back and you remember that you are CBA.
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